I've built my life around you.

It gets tiring everyday feeling like you can change the world, and not having any idea how. 

It is frustrating to watch people you care about make the same mistakes over and over and over and continue to blame the wrong people

It hurts when the people I love refuse to listen to me, about getting help for their sanity and my own. 

I want life to be different

I want each person to wake up every morning, glad to be alive and breathing and thriving because life is all there is 

why waste your time hating everything and everyone 

is that really the life you want? One full of hate, and disinterest, and pain, and complaining, and anger - nothing but negativity because life is too hard and confusing and annoying and people suck

and blah blah fucking blah

I want to be strong enough to hold in everyone’s sadness and stretch my smiles across the world so that everyone can know they are special and loved and unique and wanted and needed and vital to this planet.

instead, I have to deal with the little things that are right in front of me, and make lesson plans for my first graders and clean my kitchen and kiss my boyfriend.

But every night I go to sleep dreaming that when I wake up, the world will be different.